Now it was his turn. The circus was due in town next week and Gran had booked two tickets for the first performance on the front row. John looked at the advert in the shop window every day when he walked home from school. It showed the high trapeze; the horses and ponies in all their finery; tumbling acrobats and artists with glittering costumes; and, of course, the clowns. John loved the clowns most of all.

Over the next few days, John excitement grew. The first performance was on Tuesday, but the many-coloured circus trailers started arriving three days before. John and his Dad went to watch the men putting up the tent.
"The tent is called the Big Top," said John's Dad knowingly, "and inside the Big Top is the circus ring where the artists and animals perform."
"Where do they keep the animals during the day?" asked John.
"The lions are kept in a cage, and the horses are usually fenced in over there in the field. Sometimes you can go and look at the animals before the show. Shall we ask?"
John nodded and so his Dad went to chat to some of the workmen.
"No problem," he said. "You can go and look at the animals on Monday from five 'til seven, so I'll bring you and Gemma along about five thirty."
"Great," said John, although he secretly wished they could leave Gemma at home.

The rest of Saturday and Sunday seemed never ending. Gemma was thrilled when she heard about the animals, but John was impatient waiting for Monday to arrive.
"John, stop moping around the house." said his Mum, "What's the matter with you? Aren't you excited?"
" 'Course I am," said John, but he couldn't stop wishing it was Monday evening and he couldn't explain why he felt so miserable and bad-tempered.
"I think I'll go and call for Danny, is that OK?" he asked.
"Yes," said Mum "and let's hope you come back in a better mood!"

John and Danny decided to walk over to the circus field to see how things were going.

"Looks pretty big that tent, doesn't it?" said Danny.
"It's called the Big Top," explained John, speaking with the authority of someone who knows, "and it has to be that big 'cos all the people have to fit in as well as the circus ring, and the animals, and the trapeze, and the acrobats and everyone."
"I know what it's like," said Danny, and John saw his face light up with the memory. "I went last time, remember - and my Mum's taking me again this week. Good, eh?"
"There's no need to boast about it," said John sulkily, "and anyway, I'm going to the first performance and I'll bet that's the best one to go to!"
Danny looked hurt. "I wasn't boasting," he said, "and if you're going to be like that I'm off home." Danny turned and ran back across the field towards the houses.

"Oh bother," thought John, "now I've upset everyone!" He wandered across the field towards the Big Top. It was big and there were people busily working inside. All around the tent were the trailers and cars of the circus people. Just then John felt a tap on his shoulder and a deep voice said,
"And where do you think you're going?"

John turned around expecting to see one of the burly workmen but he was surprised to see an old man, not much taller than himself.
"I..I..I've just come to see what's happening," stuttered John. "I didn't mean any harm."
The old man could see John was close to tears.
"What's the matter, lad?" he asked, in a much kinder voice than before.
"Oh, I don't know," said John. "You see I'm coming to see the circus and I should be happy but I'm not and I've upset my mum, and my best friend and I feel so miserable."
The old man nodded. Another circus hand started walking towards them but the old man shouted to him,
"It's OK, Bill. It's only a young lad; he's not causing any trouble. I'll see to it." Then he turned to John and said,
"Now let's sit down, lad, and you can tell me about."

They sat on one of the bales of straw just outside the big tent. John looked at the old man. He had grey, bushy eyebrows and his face was lined with creases - laughter lines John's mum called them. . His hair, too, was grey, and John noticed, for the first time, that he carried a stick. Yet his eyes were soft and sympathetic, and John found him easy to talk to.

John explained who he was and what had happened. He told the old man about missing the circus the first time it came to town and about how his Gran had bought tickets for this week. He told him about feeling miserable when he should be happy and about feeling angry instead of pleased. The old man just nodded and listened. Only when he had finished, did the old man start to speak.

"Let me tell you a story, John," he said. "A long time ago, there was a young boy just like you who loved the circus. He would spend all day hanging around the tent, watching the men work, and feeding the animals - but that boy was lucky. You see he lived with the circus. His father was a clown, and the young boy wanted to grow up just like his father and be a clown as well. Now, one day, when the tent was being put up, one of the poles collapsed and fell on the boy. It damaged his leg so badly, he had to spend quite a long time in hospital. His family decided to leave the circus, and this made the young boy sad it meant he would never grow up to be a clown."

"A few years passed and the boy grew into a young man. He still loved the circus but whenever anybody talked about it, he felt depressed and miserable. He thought it was just because he missed the circus life - but it wasn't just that. Every year, when the circus came to the town near where he now lived, he kept away. However, one year, a friend persuaded him to go along to the show - and he was really glad he did. While he was watching, he suddenly realised why he felt miserable. All this time he had felt jealous. He was jealous of the people who still worked in the circus, particularly the clowns who made people laugh; and he was envious of all the people who could enjoy watching them. Jealousy is a funny thing, John, it can make people feel very sorry for themselves and it's not a nice feeling. It certainly doesn't make you feel very happy."

John listened to the old man and he began to understand how he felt. He was sorry for himself when he had chicken pox and he was jealous of his sister and his friends when they went to the circus and he couldn't. The old man was right. It wasn't a very nice feeling.

"Perhaps," said the old man, "you think that the circus is there just for you this time - maybe you don't want to share it with anyone else?"

John nodded. Now he felt silly. Of course the circus was there for everyone. It wouldn't be much fun without other people - and this time he could share the excitement with everyone he knew. The old man smiled, and John smiled back.

"What happened to the young man?" asked John.

"Oh, he was happier when he realised how foolish he had been. He decided not to waste any more time feeling sorry for himself and decided to do something that made other people happy, but that's another story."

The old man stood up to go. John thanked him for listening and watched him walk towards the tent, using his stick for support. I wonder what's the matter with his leg, thought John, as he headed for home.

The evening and the next day passed quickly and everyone noticed that John seemed much happier with himself. He invited Danny to come and see the animals with his Dad and Gemma. Danny was pleased they were friends again.

The evening of the show finally arrived. The acrobats were brilliant, the high trapeze was daring, and the horses were beautiful - but the clowns were everyone's favourite. John and his Gran laughed until the tears ran down their cheeks. One clown was really funny. He rode around in a little cart that made the strangest noises and bumped into everything - even the ringmaster! John was amazed when he got out of the cart for the applause, to see that he walked with a little stick.