Examples of the less effective use of material from secondary sources to support interpretations

Example 1

Essay question: 'The introduction of the players and the theatre scenes reflect one of the major thematic concerns of Hamlet.' Discuss.

This extract comes from a student essay on the above question:

As he talks to the players beforehand, Hamlet displays a sound knowledge of the working of the theatre:

Hamlet’s famous advice to the players suggests ... a keen eye for performance. (Worthen, 1996, p.246)

It is indeed the play scene that seems central to Hamlet:

It is the climax and the crisis of the whole drama. (Wilson, 1967)

For it is then that Hamlet will confirm the ghost’s claims, while at the same time:

allowing the protagonists to see what the audience already knows. (Todd, 1965, p.115)

Q. How could this be improved?

TUTOR'S REPLY

Material quoted from secondary sources does support the points which are being made, but these are relatively minor critical observations which the student writing the essay probably could have made about the play themselves. These observations do not warrant being accompanied individually by direct quotations from critical sources. It might have been better to refer indirectly to these critical sources, rather than quoting directly from them. As a general rule, direct quotation from critics is better used in support of the more significant points of analysis that you are making in the essay.

Example 2

Essay question: 'Tragedies portray societies which are caught between conflicting value systems'. Discuss with reference to one or more plays.

In this extract from an essay on the question quoted above, the student is writing about Hamlet:

'Hamlet is a microcosmic representation of this society, and the conflict, the disharmony that is created in it,

Shakesepearean drama challenges dominant ideological structures in the very act of using them. (Cartelli)

helping us the audience, to understand and appreciate the gulfs between past and present ideologies.'


Q. How could this be improved?

TUTOR'S REPLY

The material quoted from the secondary source is not integrated into the body of the essay. It interrupts the sentence, and there is no direct reference to it is made by the essayist - it appears from nowhere. It might be better to make some reference to the quotation in the body of the essay, commenting on it to show that you understand it, rather than letting it speak for itself. It is also advisable to embed quotations of this kind in the essay, instead of placing them in mid sentence.

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